Old jokes that never fail to make me giggle

In the virtual world of messgae boards, group emails and silliness the same old jokes or joke themes go around and around and around. Some are not funny the first time and some always make me laugh and laughter they say is good for the spirit.

Me I love laughing and consider myself to have a pretty good sense of humour, I also am prone to finding some of the most dreary and obvious jokes bloody funny - I'm one of them types that can laugh all the way through Friends - which lets face it isn't really very funny. I adore the Simpsons and its a daily fixture in my laughter calander. I am chuffed C4 is screening The Family Guy every evening as its a show that makes me laugh aloud more than so many others - to the point where its almost embarassing. I laugh at many things and there is no logic to what can tickle my funny bone which is the great thing about jokes and comedy, each of us has our own unique sense of humour.

I came across this item this morning and for a generic joke it still made me laugh. Yep, I am a simple soul.

From: Bin Laden, Osama
To: All Al Qaeda Fighters
Subject: The Cave

Do Not Distribute Outside The Organization.

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:

First: While it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rota ..have you?

I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).

Second: It's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the s**t out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.

Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy, Oy, Oy, Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.

Five: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F***S DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall It's a lie, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.)

Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them.

First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

Love you lots,
Group Hug.

PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.

Yeah stupid, but.... I laughed anyway

I really dig the part about foreigners, especially in light of my recent reading on David Hicks - a victim in this war on terror and a example of how a nation can turn its back on one of their own.

I've been trying to write about Festival Mushroom Records and the merger of that company into Warner Music, the fallout of which is redundancy for a terrific group of people but alas the words aren't flowing as I'd like thus far, so its a work in progress for now. Instead i'll point you all to this piece, written by someone else, someone who knows more and writes better than me.

As a consequence of the merger I have been trawling through a lot of my Flying Nun releases, of which I have a hell of a lot but not sadly all, the completeist in me is never satisfied....

Its good in times of reflection to have a belly laugh or even a small giggle.


Anonymous said…
Here's a simple joke for a simple man "Daktari".
What did one farmer say to the other farmer?
(see Blog dated wed 9 Nov for answer)