Becoming a man

Tuning in a television channel is hardly the sort of thing a good bloke should be concerned about, yet I fear this is the exact sort of task I find a tad daunting. Yep I am so not the quintessential kiwi bloke, mate.

TV’s and video recorders are in my experience, or mind, some of the hardest to work pieces of technology I’ve ever had to live with. Not so much the playback or basics, but you know the tuning of channels and in video land being able to pre programme the machine to record a show at a specific time, without doing it manually.

I find the prospect of tuning in the TV so mind boggling that I simply never do it, over the past decade or more when a telly needed tuning you’d only see my dust. I was outta there, flatmates or small children were always employed for such tasks, I would provide emotional support and perhaps a cup of coffee.

So having not seen nor needed to do something simple with the TV for many a year, tonight I decided to give it a bash. As a new TV channel will soon burst upon screens, which I am very curious about, as it involves Thane who runs George FM and no doubt a bunch of others I know. Exciting stuff I reckon and they are good people, so watch I must.

So, I have to tune in the telly to see this damn thing, enough to ruin a lovely summers eve, I’m telling ya.

I logon to the Alt TV web site and basically followed their instructions to begin the tuning session. I figured I was in for a long frustrating task. I really should have got some cheesels in for the hopeful eventful outcome. Or perhaps I should have bred by now so I’d have children to do these tuning tasks for me and I could be manly in a supervisory role. Sometimes life leaves one in a position where you really do need a good slapping.

There I was sweaty brow and what happens, well, in less than bloody five minutes I have Juice TV, Maori TV and Alt TV all tuned, saved and sorted. What a dick I am!

Yippee three more channels to surf….. hmmm, not sure if this is really a godsend, damn my being able to perform a simple task that even a brain damaged chimpanzee could do, whilst blind folded and tied to a ocean going yacht I might add.

So now I have three new channels available I did what any self respecting TV watcher would do, muted the puppy and played records.

The new station launches on Monday, last night I did catch some test broadcast, which looked shockingly bad, yet in that low budget random way that oozes charm and sometimes provides one with a giggle and some astoundingly good moments of TV.

Its morning now and I’ve just watched a few trailers again and a couple of music videos; I think I’m going to enjoy watching this channel, on occasion. At the same time I worry about how they’ll find enough interesting content to live up to the on air promos promises, let alone some of the plans and desires of the new presenters I did catch with sound up last night. Finding the music videos and other content could be a very daunting task let alone finding the revenue to keep the beast ticking over.

So join me in a virtual toast if you’re in Auckland next Monday and we can all salute this new venture and wish it all the best. I do expect more than a few giggles, cringes and feelings of embarrassment for the on air team, I expect loads of mistakes and more than a few moments of television brilliance, which this sort of venture should excel in.

Good luck to them, I know they have one supporter here and that’s a start.

Now that I’ve conquered the tuning of the telly, maybe I shall attempt to video something…. Or shall I quit whilst I’m ahead? I think perhaps I should just pull me head in and work through my irrational fear of the idiot box.

I’ve a bunch of new tunes to devour at some point today, which is exciting, a new Justin Harris hip hop booty, a Luke Solomon remix a new No Assembly Firm (who I really am digging this year) and a track by someone whose name escapes me called ‘Wankers Paradise’ – now that’s a track name that really tickles me fancy, I hope its not just a bunch of crap. As well as the new ones I may just get a little crazy and play the flip sides of quite a number of 12”s that I haven’t flipped yet…. this is a bad habit of mine, not listening to all of a record. Rather it can take me years to fully explore a 12” record – which usually only contains 3 tracks. Also on the cards is King Loser - who until yesterday I hadn't thought of for a long time, thanks for the heads up them forum dwellers out there.

I’ve also been rediscovering Front 242, man I so loved them many, many years ago, most of their stuff still sounds amazing to my ears, production standards and that whole lack of bass thing being the most obvious thing that dates their sound. Hell with the right tweeks, I reckon them “electro” fans of today would be impressed.

Due to launch of the rocket yesterday I am also back in a space oriented music phase, must be the fourth or fifth time this year alone, the way I’m headed Monday’s show is going to be well random, wahoo.

Now I’ve conquered the telly perhaps I should go to Big Boys Toys this weekend and really flex my manliness, or at the least drink too much beer and possibly go check out my good mate Pip’s club night Saturday – of which she has assured me the door people shall be warned to expect an old man in shorts… a code of dress that usually excludes me entry to most of our clubs.

I am man, hear me roar!

I really should grow up.