Showing posts from November, 2005

Undue influence

In 1976 No one died
In 1977 No One Died
In 1978 Someone died
In 1979 No one died
In 1980 No One Died
In 1981 We had that incident with the pigeon
In 1982 No One died
In 1983 No One Died
In 1984 No one died in 1985
I could go on you know....

These lines will make no sense to most, for those of you who have seen The Day Today the comedy show that was the cornerstone of so many brilliant UK comedies and comedians since its inception should, I hope, be laughing about now.

I first came across the show whilst living in London, I stumbled upon it one night after a very heavy drinking session and thought it was the real news... I got confused and didn't understand. My flatmates were rolling around the floor and I was scratching my head prior to passing out.

The next week I was well primed (yeah more beer) and became a devout fan, so much so that when I finally had to leave the UK to return home I was rushing around London frantically looking for the video's of the show which had just been release…

Spam can be profound

I read spam - now before some smart alec suggests anything, I do need to get out more....

Yesterday I came across some lines in a spam email found in my junk folder that I simply cannot workout the connection between me buying some product to enhance my penis size and the comments tacked onto the end of the email.

Here's the comments:

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Every government is run by liars. Nothing they say should be believed.
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Let thy speech be short, comprehending much in a few words.
No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.

Perhaps having a bigger dick will make me cleverer...

The Long & The Short Of It

Monday 2-4

Strawpeople - The Slide (EMI) 1991
Max B - Bananaticoco (Ashley Beedle "King Choclate" re edit) (Strut) 2000
Mr Scruff - Sweetsmoke (Ashley Beedle's Street boogie rmx) (Ninja Tune) 2003
Mark Stewart & The Mafia - This Is Stranger than Love (Mute) 1987
Tricky Disco - Tricky Disco (Warp) 1990
Leftfield/Lydon - Open Up (Hard Hands) 1993
Ladycop - To Be Real (FRRR) 1996
Q bass - Hardcore Will Never Die (E Type Version) (Suburban Bass) 1991
M&M - Don't Stand In My Way (Suburban Bass) 1991
Phuture Assassins - Roots 'n' Future (Reflections In Dub) (Suburban Bass) 1993
United Eye - Ska East Of The West (Afro Art) 2000
The Freaks - Whats The Point (MFF) 2003
Eclat - I Don't laaaa (Select) 2005
Robbie hardkiss - Everythings Changing (B's Bounce Move vs D's DHQ edit) (Classic) 2004
Wah Syndicate - Now That We've Found Love (Lil Mark rmx) (Nepenta) 2005
The Winstons - Amen, Brother (Holy Bee/Strut) 2001
The Incredible Bongo Band - Apac…

You’re not from round here are you boy

I spend far too much time focusing my attention on current affairs, nothing wrong with that, yet my focus is affairs from other lands more often than not and this morning I feel its time I looked at my own back yard, more than I do or at least more than I have typed to date.

To many outsiders New Zealand may possibly look like a paradise, for we enjoy a life and lifestyle so many can only dream of. We like to call our corner of the world, godzone – we really are that, um, smug.

Yet anyone who spends more than 30 seconds looking at our fair little land will soon come across many signs that alls not right or as it could/should be. If we could implement policy as well as we promote our clean green image we’d be doing a lot better than we are…

I decided it was time to look closer to home after reading a article on domestic USA about Thanksgiving – something I only really know about here, cause of all the thanksgiving specials we eventually see on US Sit Coms etc. I’ve seen over the course of…

Bush V Al-Jazeera: Fact or Fancy?

"The internet is abuzz over a leaked memo quoted yesterday by the London Mirror alleging that President Bush told British Prime Minister Tony Blair that he "planned to bomb Arab TV station al-Jazeera in friendly Qatar," according to a transcript of an April 16, 2004 conversation between the two at the White House. The Mirror reported that Bush was "talked out of it" byBlair. "

A very good read on this topic, especially the Timelines, cheers Asylum.

Also of note is John Pilger's article regarding the media and the recent WP allegations and other stories on Fallujah.

"The Indian writer Vandana Shiva has called for an "insurrection of subjugated knowledge". The insurrection is well under way. In trying to make sense of a dangerous world, millions of people are turning away from the traditional sources of news and information and to the world wide web, convinced that mainstream journalism is the voice of rampant power. The great scandal of Ira…

Your Press Pass is now revoked, permanently

PRESIDENT Bush planned to bomb Arab TV station al-Jazeera in friendly Qatar, a "Top Secret" No 10 memo reveals.


Al-Jazeera infuriated Washington and London by reporting from behind rebel lines and broadcasting pictures of dead soldiers, private contractors and Iraqi victims.

The station, watched by millions, has also been used by bin Laden and al-Qaeda to broadcast atrocities and to threaten the West.

Al-Jazeera's HQ is in the business district of Qatar's capital, Doha. Its single-storey buildings would have made an easy target for bombers. As it is sited away from residential areas, and more than 10 miles from the US's desert base in Qatar, there would have been no danger of "collateral damage".

Dozens of al-Jazeera staff at the HQ are not, as many believe, Islamic fanatics. Instead, most are respected and highly trained technicians and journalists.

To have wiped them out would have been equivalent to bombing the BBC in London and the most spectacular…

The Germans and Ladies

Today is White Ribbon Day – the international day for the elimination of violence against women.

The idea is for men to put up their hand and say they will no longer tolerate that type of behaviour.

It came about because a group of Canadian men back in 1991 decided it was time for community responsibility for ending violence in personal relationships.sourceBob puts his hand up
Nice one Germany, congratulations on your first woman Chancellor!

This shouldn’t be a big deal in the western world at least, you know equality and all that action, yet it still is.

There's so much happening in the world right now, yet here our media are heading into that period where they serve us lots of nice positive human interest stories so as not to bum us out over Christmas.... come on I think we can handle it - well as long as the All Blacks win

Anyone else but me hate the way the All Blacks are increasingly being called the AB's? I don't even like rugby but this continual abbreviated world is a re…

Bob's acting debut

Woken at 3am by the telephone ringing, damn my ring tone - Gilligan’s Island for the curious... I think its funny but not at 3am.

It was my agent, I didn't even know I had one but then I guess we all do. I must admit I'm no actor but when fame and fortune calls who am I to say no.

Bummer its for a show I don't even like much, purile humour is all fine and good but I always saw myself as a tad more serious actor type than a mere extra wearing a silly hat. Not that the hat in question was silly, more I look silly in hats.

I had a huge argument with the stylist - wot no shorts... farkers.... didn’t really like the T Shirt much either - still better than a Che Guevara shirt I guess.

Not sure when my small but very important and serious role will air, if at all as I did make an arse of myself on set. I drunk all the beer and yelled at some stupid boy who ended up spontaneously combusting, the dick.

I thought that would have been cool if caught on camera, but alas the camera guy was …

Festival Mushroom Records (FMR)

26 Oct 05
SYDNEY AUSTRALIA: Ed St John, President and CEO, Warner Music Australasia, today announced the acquisition of Festival Mushroom Records (Australia and New Zealand).

Festival Mushroom Records was formed by News Ltd from the amalgamation of the operations of Festival Records Pty Ltd, Mushroom Records Pty Ltd and Mushroom Distribution Services (MDS). Festival Records has been operating in Australia and New Zealand since 1952.Old news now, but something I've been trying to write about for a while, words don't easily come sometimes, if ever in my case.

Business and music have a funny old relationship – on one side sits a creative medium, an art form if you will, on the other is the black and white world of shareholders, balance sheets and the other considerations a business person understands and digs.

The music industry is a world where business and art does not sit happily, well perhaps unless it’s a very profitable co-existence and more often than in our modern world the m…

You may be here..

Kia ora, welcome, hello, hi, gidday

to my visitors

them I know and those I have yet to meet

The Long & The Short Of It

Monday 2-4

Sigur Ros - Sven-g-Englar (Fat Cat) 2000
Kelly Polar - Cosmological Constancy (Environ) 2005
Nuyorican Soul - Nervious track (Yellow mx) (Nervous) 1993
Tuff Little Unit - Join The Future (Warp) 1991
Ladycop - To Be Real (FRRR) 1996
Le Hammond Inferno feat Tolcha - Street Vibes (CDR) 2005
I-F - Disko SLique (instrumental0 (Disko B) 1998
Judith Juillerat - Mes Nuits (Shitkatapult) 2005
Tomorrowpeople - That Lange Track (CDR) 2005
Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Two Tribes (annlation) (ZTT) 1984
Crass - Fight War Not Wars (Crass) 1977
Jesse Saunders - Yeah (Capirinha Music) 1998
Stacy Kidd - Disco mania pt 2 (Red Hot) 2005
Puppetmastaz - Do the Swamp (Louisville) 2005
Justin martin & Sammy D - Swamp Thing (Dirtybird) 2005
Switch - A Bit Patchy (Dubsided) 2005
Fernanda Porto - Sambaissm (V Recordings) 2001
PFM feat MC Conrad - The Western (Goodlooking) 2000
Justin Harris - Nasty (shhhhh) 2005

Best taken with old man and silly hats

Have we learnt anything in the past sixty years?

Germany marked the 60th anniversary of the start of the Nuremberg trials on Sunday with a ceremony in the oak-panelled courtroom where World War Two allies came together to prosecute Nazi leaders.

The United States was the driving force behind the groundbreaking trials, which set standards for holding government leaders accountable for human rights abuses and war crimes. Its legacy reverberates in international human rights law today


The tribunal, which laid the ground for later war crimes trials and the International Criminal Court, rejected then and forever the argument of people accused of war crimes that they were "just following orders".

It established genocide as a recognised crime and it also defined the planning, preparing, initiating and waging wars of aggression as a crime, although it provided no definition of aggression.xtra

For a overview of the trials and tribunal go here

What have we learnt in the past sixty years?

Not much of merit it seems

Repeats currently s…

Being Single - reason # 3475-1

So I'm in a bar...

and I strike up a conversation with a lovely lady

She asks me what I read

I reply "spam"

She stands up and moves to the opposite side of the bar

Was it something I said?

Time of madmen

“Madmen govern our affairs in the name of order and security. The chief madmen claim the titles of general, admiral, senator, scientist, administrator, Secretary of State, even President.”

American sociologist Lewis Mumford, writing soon after the dawn of the nuclear age

I came of age during the cold war, a grim period in world affairs. Like many I expected my time to end here by way of nuclear war. Not a positive way to see the future or ones place in it. Those like me who also shared my feelings of impeding doom did not stop living nor dreaming of better times, if anything the threat of death by button pushers helped shape our world view and gave us a weird sense of positivism.

As I and my generation aged disgracefully and slowly the Cold War came to a close and the threat of all out war between the Soviet Block and the West ceased to exist. The end game was off.

It was with a profound sense of joy that I witnessed the generation below me come of age without the same sense of foreboding…

Rugger Bugger

New Zealand has won the rights to host the 2011 Rugby World Cup after convincing the IRB they were a better option than Japan and South Africa. xtra

Being one of them Kiwis who doesn't subscribe to the rugby is god views held be so many I have a sense of impending doom over this news. Yes it is a significant victory for our national game and a honour to be picked to host this sporting event. It would be very small minded of me to not recognise that our Rugby Union has for a change done something very well, and they have every reason to celebrate.

Now please lets not be smug and arrogent over this..... as that is a particular part of our culture I really do find completely repugnant....

Awww, bugger it, well done!

Sorry or is that Sory (TM pending)

The global music giant Sony BMG yesterday announced plans to recall millions of CD's by at least 20 artists - from the crooners Celine Dion and Neil Diamond to the country-rock act Van Zant - because they contain copy restriction software that poses risks to the computers of consumers.

The move, more commonly associated with collapsing baby strollers, exploding batteries, or cars with faulty brakes, is expected to cost the company tens of millions of dollars. Sony BMG said that all CD's containing the software would be removed from retail outlets and that exchanges would be offered to consumers who had bought any of them.
A toll-free number and e-mail message inquiry system will also be set up on the
Sony BMG Web site,
"We deeply regret any inconvenience this may cause our customers," the company said in a letter that it said it would post on its Web site, "and are committed to making this situation right." Neither representatives of Sony BMG nor…

Make that doh, a double please

Okay so a few posts back (Oh Crap...I got it Wrong, Nov 5) I mentioned the copy protection software that SonyBMG had started to ship with new CDs and what a disaster it had been.

Well poor SonyBMG, things on that front have just kept right on going downhill, a PR coup this most certainly is not.

Sony's controversial anti-piracy CD software has been labelled as spyware by Microsoft.

The software giant said a key part of the XCP copy protection system counted as malicious software under the rules it uses to define what Windows should be protected against.

It plans to include detection and removal tools for parts of XCP in its weekly anti-spyware software update.

The news came as Sony BMG suspended production of CDs that use XCP.

BBC if this wasn't enpough to send a shiver down ya average consumers spine, there is even more. Remember this software is designed to protect Sony BMG copywrites, which is understandable. But here the eggs really start piling up on the cheeks as it see…

The Long & The Short Of It

Monday 2-4

Dub Syndicate - Stoned immaculate (on U Sound) 1991
Colourbox - Looks Like We're Shy One Horse (4AD) 1984
DJ marky & XRS - LK (V Recordings)
The Beat - Hands Off She's mine (Arista) 1980
Johnny Cash - The Man Comes Round (American Music) 2002
Front 242 - Lovely Day (Wax Trax) 1987
Tiga - Do It Don't Stop (PIAS) 2005
Gel Toob - Ride (Gel Toob) 2004
Derrick may - Strings Of Life (Transmat) 1998
Nightmares On Wax - Aftermath (Warp) 1990
Underworld - Dark & Long (Dark Train Mix) (JBO) 1994
Front 242 - Aggressiva Angst (Wax Trax) 1987
Dave Angel - Airbourne (Carl Craigs Drums Suck mix) ((Island) 1996
DJ Sneak - Inside (Magnetic) 2005
Del Costa & Pedro Goya - Metropolis (Rob Mell no easr mx) (MFF) 2005
Bear Who? - Funky City (Dust Traxx) 2005
Josh one - Afterhours (Wally Callerio rmx) (Myutopia) 2005
Cevin Fisher - It's A Good Life (Wonderboy) 2000

Best taken with beer and skittles

dance, dance, disco


Becoming a man

Tuning in a television channel is hardly the sort of thing a good bloke should be concerned about, yet I fear this is the exact sort of task I find a tad daunting. Yep I am so not the quintessential kiwi bloke, mate.

TV’s and video recorders are in my experience, or mind, some of the hardest to work pieces of technology I’ve ever had to live with. Not so much the playback or basics, but you know the tuning of channels and in video land being able to pre programme the machine to record a show at a specific time, without doing it manually.

I find the prospect of tuning in the TV so mind boggling that I simply never do it, over the past decade or more when a telly needed tuning you’d only see my dust. I was outta there, flatmates or small children were always employed for such tasks, I would provide emotional support and perhaps a cup of coffee.

So having not seen nor needed to do something simple with the TV for many a year, tonight I decided to give it a bash. As a new TV channel will soo…

The War To End All Wars... yeah right

The commemoration of Armistice Day will be held around the country today.

It is the 87th anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended the First World War at the eleventh hour, of the eleventh day, of the eleventh month in 1918.

Remember that the price of freedom is eternal vigilance, both of our enemies and those who serve to protect us.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning we shall remember them

We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill...

Space the final frontier.....

The European spacecraft Venus Express has been successfully placed into a trajectory that will take it on its journey from Earth towards its destination of the planet Venus, which it will reach next April. A virtual twin sister of the Mars Express spacecraft which has been orbiting the Red Planet since December 2003, Venus Express is the second planet-bound probe to be launched by the European Space Agency.

Venus Express will eventually manoeuvre itself into orbit around Venus in order to perform a detailed study of the structure, chemistry and dynamics of the planet's atmosphere, which is characterised by extremely high temperatures, very high atmospheric pressure, a huge 'greenhouse effect' and as-yet inexplicable 'super-rotation' which means that it speeds around the planet in just four days.

The European spacecraft will also be the first orbiter to probe the planet's surface while exploiting the 'visibility windows' recent…

For Sale: One Slightly Used Blouse

As if things weren't bad enough for the jilted Mother of the Nation, she returned from holiday this week to find staff in the TVNZ building wearing her clothes.

While Judy Bailey was overseas on leave, it seems TVNZ held an in-house auction of the news presenter's wardrobe. But some of the garments were Bailey's own clothes - and definitely not for sale.

TVNZ spokeswoman Avon Adams said it was a mistake.

"What they tend to do is auction off the old clothes ... The tragedy is unfortunately Judy Bailey had some of her own personal garments in with the TVNZ wardrobe and they were inadvertently sold as well.

"We are very, very sorry it's happened, but it was a mistake, a human error."

Bailey was reported to be "ropeable". NZ Herald

Poor ol TVNZ, too much time in the news and not enough time spent bringing us news..... is roughly what Helen Clark said recently. Yep!

Poor Judy, I'd be ropeable too. Does this indicate a reduction in future status, maybe …

Old jokes that never fail to make me giggle

In the virtual world of messgae boards, group emails and silliness the same old jokes or joke themes go around and around and around. Some are not funny the first time and some always make me laugh and laughter they say is good for the spirit.

Me I love laughing and consider myself to have a pretty good sense of humour, I also am prone to finding some of the most dreary and obvious jokes bloody funny - I'm one of them types that can laugh all the way through Friends - which lets face it isn't really very funny. I adore the Simpsons and its a daily fixture in my laughter calander. I am chuffed C4 is screening The Family Guy every evening as its a show that makes me laugh aloud more than so many others - to the point where its almost embarassing. I laugh at many things and there is no logic to what can tickle my funny bone which is the great thing about jokes and comedy, each of us has our own unique sense of humour.

I came across this item this morning and for a generic joke it s…

The Long & The Short Of It

Monday 2-4

The Chills - The Great Escape (Flying Nun) 1986
The Able Tasmans - Michael Fay (Flying Nun) 1998
The Beat - Twist & Crawl (Aritsa) 1980
Greenskeepers - Man In The House (GK rmx) (GK Music) 2005
Derrick L Carter - Legacy (Wash House) 2005
Stacy Kidd feat Artesha - Thank You (instrumental dub) (Musique De Salon) 2005
Stacy Kidd - Disco mania 2 (Red Hot) 2005
Stacy Kidd - House Crusade (Odds & Ends) 2005
Stacy Kidd - (Toys) (Smooth Agent) 2004
Stacy Kidd - Bad Accident (Lady D's edit) (Delectable) 2005
Bear Who? - Funky City (Fuzzy's Back to the world mix) (Dust Traxx) 2005
Wah Syndicate - Now That We've Found love (Lil Mark rmx) (Nepenta) 2005
Bloom - Slip Slip (Dot Bleep) 2005
Chris Grant - The Jimmy Jam (Sound Republic rmx) (Jackin Tracks) 2005
Pixies - Where Is My Mind (4AD)
Anne Will - Move D (Libe Detail) 2005
Greenskeepers - On The Line (members only rmx) (GK Music) 2005
Rob Mello - Critical (Classic) 2005
Jeremy Joshua - My Head (Cosa De Discos) 2004

Rod Donald RIP


The sudden death of Greens co leader Rod Donald has left his political colleagues in a state of shock.

The 48-year-old entered Parliament in 1996 having successfully fought to have the voting system changed to MMP.

Mr Donald joined the Values Party - the forerunner of today's Green Party - in 1973 and just one year later, at the age of eighteen, he cycled from Christchurch to Nelson to become the campaign manager for the local Values Party candidate.

He once described his journey to the Beehive as a 'solid apprenticeship'.

During that time, he was a key worker for Trade Aid, campaigning for fairer trade links between developing nations and the west. From 1986 to 1990 he worked for Volunteer Service Abroad as public affairs manager and, prior to his election to Parliament in 1996, returned to Trade Aid for six years where he was the New Zealand manager for Trade Aid Importers.

During that time, between 1989 and 1993, he was also the National Spokesperson for the Electo…

Oh Crap... I got it wrong

Well I still ain't got me an I-pod nor does New Zealand have access to the Australian branch of the I-Tunes store

As expected, Apple launched its iTunes Music Store in Australia on Tuesday, but Sony BMG continues to play hardball, exercising its major-label status to hamper Apple's catalogue in multiple countries. The iTunes Music Store is now available in 21 countries. Despite Sony's reluctance to join the party, Apple is offering Australian music fans access to a million-song catalogue, alongside more than 1,000 music videos. Sadly, New Zealand music fans remain out of the loop - at least for now. Prices are AUS$1.69 per song and AUS$3.39 per video. Most albums cost AUS$16.99

I dunno why this is, but alas it is so. That'll explain the lack of fanfare here. Rumours say maybe in the new year and then if we believe the rumours concerning I-Tunes in NZ then we'd have seen a local branch here many many months ago.

I'd like to say I'm gutted but I'm not, caus…

Oranges and lemons

I have a thing for the colour orange and I don’t really know why.

It’s not my favourite colour, though I am not sure if I actually have a favourite, I think that’s the sort of thing best left to primary school, favouring a colour. We’ve all be subjected in our lives to having to pick out a favourite colour, inane concept unless one does have a preference, here all colours are equal and thus all are welcome in my house.

I don’t purposefully buy orange clothes and wear virtually no orange garments, only my prison overalls, and they are only required on Sunday mornings when we clean out the pigs. I also don’t find myself drawn to those wearing orange or those whose fake tans render them a nice healthy shade of orange. Nope my orange fixation only really kicks in when it comes to food.

Now there are not a huge range of food types that orange covers, unlike say green. Those that do fall into the orange category are in my eyes the food of gods. I’m not sure if my revelation will earn my praise…

I’m not part of the I-pod revolution

I wish I had an I-pod, being a walker by nature and circumstance I’d love to have a playback device so small and convenient that listening to music on ones travels is painless, not too mention the fashionable aspect of it. I doubt I will get one in the short or medium term, I’m more likely to buy records than hardware to listen to music on, alas that is my musical vice, technology is cool but music is way cooler. So I sometimes hanker for an I-Pod, especially when contemplating a decent walk, but that’s about as far as I’ve gone to date.

The launch of I-Pod’s online store in Australia seems to have bypassed most of the media I follow, which seems rather strange considering how much time and space some outlets have devoted to the lack of a local and usable online store for us lot here, yes there are a couple but they have yet to make any real impact and probably never will, its all about Apple and the I-pod really now isn’t it.

The European and US stores cannot and will not sell to us, …